The Introverted Leader

LEADERSHIP

6/9/20262 min read

I used to think you had to be the kind of person who raised your hand in class to be a great leader.

I’ve always been on the quieter side. I need time to think before speaking. Being the center of attention can make me melt like the Wicked Witch of the West. The models of leadership I saw growing up were commanding, unafraid, self-assured with all the answers. I had big aspirations for making a difference in the world, but it was hard to see myself as an acceptable leader.

In my early twenties, I started recognizing how many qualities of leadership I already had. And I began leaning into the parts of myself that used to make me feel small.

I listen deeply, wanting to get to the heart of what people honestly think. I know the best answers don't always come from the loudest voices in the room. I am energized by collaboration that shows people the value of their unique strengths. And when I am connected to the core of my values, the conviction to speak up comes out like a tidal wave.

These strengths were always there. The confidence to use them in a culture that rewards hand-raisers — that took longer. Over twenty years in organizational leadership, a few things made a big difference.

Learning to hold my gifts with humility. While confidence matters, so does the honesty to say "I don't know." We are all imperfect humans — yet somehow, as leaders, we think we’re supposed to have it all figured out. Embracing our own imperfections gives others permission to ask for help, acknowledge mistakes, and show up as they actually are.

Learning to protect what really matters by saying no. As a high-achieving people-pleaser, this one has taken some real work. What helped was the realization that every yes is also a no to something else — and often that something else was my own wellbeing or the people who needed me most.

Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, learning that my team’s psychological safety should be the first thing on my mind. Without it, there is no real connection, growth, or honest communication. Trust erodes and people start checking out. But when we show our people through tangible action that we value what they have to say, everything changes.

I spent twenty years learning these things from the inside. Now I am fortunate that I get to help other leaders find them faster.

Coalesce Consulting

Organizational Culture Development · Team Facilitation · Strategic Planning